he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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