There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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