i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
