Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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