Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
