Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
