I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
