I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
