I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
