I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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