my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
