Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Randomize
