My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
