I want to stick my p in your. b.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
