just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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