You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
