'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
