Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
