Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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