dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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