haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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