She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
