who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
