i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
