Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
