so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
