bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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