is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
