is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
