please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
