I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
