I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
