new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
