the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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