I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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