so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
