i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
