he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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