During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
