do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Randomize
