But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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