You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
