the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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