For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
