i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
