well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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