dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Semen is not good for contacts.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
