I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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