I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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