If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
