I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
